Though it took having my own baby and the support of my husband to become a doula, I think I've been fascinated by birth since childhood. I remember being mesmerized by Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman having her baby underneath a tree on the Colorado frontier. When I spent summers at my grandma's house, I'd much rather be watching 'A Baby Story' on TLC than 'A Wedding Story'. I have an empathetic personality, I feel deeply with others. I am an encourager by nature, I want to motivate others to be their best. And I'm curious, I question, I want to be in the know. These are just some examples of why I think doula work has been such a natural fit for me.
I believe that 'birth people' know they are birth people, whether the obsession and skills are granted by nature or nurture, if you've got it - you got it.
During my first pregnancy, I became obsessed with learning all I could about birth. Not only was I genuinely interested in the process, I felt a distinct responsibility to be ready. It seemed right to me that I should prepare for this (what I heard would be) life-altering experience. And it was. In the best of ways.
Once I joined the ‘mommy club’ and started swapping battle stories, I discovered that not all women had the same, empowering, positive impressions of birth that I did. Stories of fellow mamas being treated more like children than women by their care providers. Scary, unexplained complications. Interventions that seemed to do more harm than good. Snap-decisions made in the midst of fear or confusion. Little-to-no breastfeeding support or information. Births that ended up more traumatic than pleasant.'
Even as I was just getting my bearings as a new mom, friends started to come out of the woodwork asking me all kinds of pregnancy and childbirth questions. “I know you had a good, natural birth experience,” their messages would start, “I just found out I’m pregnant and have no idea what to do. Can you help me?” I answered the questions that I could, and researched the others. Gaining knowledge even as I was spreading knowledge. Frequently I would fall asleep telling Ben about a new mom I had just been chatting with and the hurdles she was overcoming. I felt strongly that I needed to do more, but still felt a bit lost. After all, I was new to this motherhood rodeo, too.
Well into my daughter’s first year, that same story-swapping, question-asking, information-seeking pattern continued. I fell in love with this beautiful cycle of new moms encouraging newer moms.
A week or so after Ben graduated seminary, he and I had one of those lovely, dreamy, goal-setting conversations. We were thrilled that Ben had reached this milestone, and to have some of our family’s time and financial resources freed up. It was in was in this conversation we thought Ben should pursue a podcast idea he’d been tossing around.
“What about you?” he asked, “Why don’t you become a doula?”
I had mentioned the idea to him before, but it was always in the future. Maybe when we were done having babies. When the kids were in school. When…
“Why not now?” he prodded. “We can make it happen. You’re so passionate about this. I think you’re going to be a very busy doula one day.” Then he gave me one of his killer I-believe-in-you smiles.
And I melted.